Wives submit to your husbands...

"And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means to submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything." Ephesians 5:21-24

Definition:

SUBMIT- verb "To defer to another's judgment, opinion, decision, etc."

I don't know about you, but the word "submit" tends to make me...uh....uncomfortable. I tend to translate it as "hand over control". Which is not an easy thing for me to do. And I think about my friends with unbelieving husbands and I think- YIKES! Does this scripture apply to them? So, in reading this, this morning my mind was screaming....BUT....BUT....WHAT IF?

WHAT IF the husband is not a Christian?

"Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives." 1 Peter 3:1

Ok....BUT.... BUT....

WHAT IF the husband is making a decision that the wife knows is against God?

"We must obey God rather than any human authority." Acts 5:29

Ok so, we must submit to the authority of our husbands, BUT NOT if it leads us into sin.

So, being submissive to our husbands does NOT mean that we are to blindly obey his every whim without ever offering an opinion ourselves. But, it DOES mean that we must be respectful of our husbands REGARDLESS of their Christian walk (or lack thereof). We should allow our husbands to be the heads of our households.

John MacArthur sums it up well:

"You have a husband who is a trial to you, either because he's unsaved or he's a disobedient believer, he fails to fulfill all of your hopes and expectations for what you would want as a husband. He comes short for what you hope for and maybe what you thought he was. And you are gravely disappointed. You chafe under his authoritarianism. He cares little for how you feel, it seems. All the more reason to be submissive, all the more reason to demonstrate to him a meekness, a purity, a respectful kind of behavior, all the more reason not only to adorn the outside and please do that, we all appreciate it, but do more than that, more than putting on a pretty dress or wearing gold jewelry or doing your hair, adorn your heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God. And I might say every man's dream.

It doesn't mean you have to kill your personality. It doesn't mean you have to become a robot. It doesn't mean you have to become boring. It doesn't mean you never give your opinion. But there needs to be deep down in your heart gentleness, quietness, that hidden part is precious in the sight of God."

"Lord, help me to be more submissive to my husband. May I walk in your light in every instance so that I may influence and encourage his walk with You as well. Amen.

I Wanna Be In The Light

"You used to be like people living in the dark, but now you are people of the light because you belong to the Lord. So act like people of the light and make your light shine. Be good and honest and truthful, as you try to please the Lord. Don't take part in doing those worthless things that are done in the dark. Instead, show how wrong they are. It is disgusting even to talk about what is done in the dark. But the light will show what these things are really like. Light shows up everything, just as the Scriptures say, 'Wake up from your sleep and rise from death. Then Christ will shine on you.'" Ephesians 5:8-14

When I was a little girl, I was afraid of the dark. My Momma always had to leave the light on in the hallway outside my room so that I wouldn't be scared. I found safety in that light.

Isn't it odd that as we get older, we find "safety" in the darkness? We think we can hide our sins even though the Bible tells us, "You may be sure that your sin will find you out." Numbers 32:23

If you've ever been inside a bar or nightclub, you may have noticed...it's dark in there. I wonder if people would act differently if the lights were really bright....like spotlight bright.... I think they would.

You see, God is our spotlight. In fact, the Bible tells us in 1 John 1:5, that "God is light." We can't hide our sins from Him.

Living "in the light" means living for Him. It means living our lives in such a way that we don't feel the need to hide anything. An authentic life. A life of integrity. That's what I want.

One of my favorite D.C. Talk songs, "In the Light", says it so well. These lyrics have become my prayer today:

I wanna be in the light
As You are in the light
I wanna shine like the stars in the heavens
Oh, Lord be my light and be my salvation
Cause all I want is to be in the light
All I want is to be in the light

Shut the Door!

"And don't sin by letting anger control you. Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil." Ephesians 4:26-27

When we get mad about things and we dwell on them, we are opening the door for the devil to come in and cause trouble. We are allowing those negative feelings and emotions to take root and affect us on many different levels.

First, anger and pent up feelings tend to flow over into the rest of our day. We may be frustrated and short with other people. Behavior like this hurts our witness and the devil likes that.

Secondly, unresolved hurt causes stress and tension. This could result in health problems such as high-blood pressure, weight loss, weight gain (emotional eating), headaches, body aches, fatigue etc. These health problems could result in decreased energy and ability to serve God. And the devil likes that.

Thirdly, when we let anger build up and take root inside of us instead of openly and honestly dealing with it, relationships can be destroyed. For example, if you are angry with your husband- don't avoid it, and don't avoid him. Talk it out. If you don't, it will fester and grow and your marriage will become vulnerable. And the devil likes this.

Finally, as a grief counselor, I can not tell you how many people I have counseled who have lost someone suddenly and regretted their last conversations. They "let the sun go down on [their] anger" and a car accident....heart attack....or suicide resulted in unresolved conflict that they have to live with every day. And guess what? The devil likes that too.

I don't know about you, but I don't want the devil to like ANYTHING that I do! So it's important that we deal with our anger constructively. Get things out in the open, talk, take responsibility for our part in whatever the problem is, try to explain our side and work through it. In doing so, we are SHUTTING THAT DOOR and keeping the devil from getting that foothold.

Don't Catch Their Drift!

"In the Lord's name, I tell you this. Do not continue living like those who do not believe. Their thoughts are worth nothing. They do not understand and they know nothing, because they refuse to listen. So they cannot have the life that God gives. They have lost all feeling of shame, and they use their lives for doing evil. They continually want to do all kinds of evil." Ephesians 4:17-19 (NCV)

We probably all have friends who are either non-believers or non-followers of Christ. (Remember there is a BIG difference in simply believing in Christ and actually FOLLOWING Him.) Jesus was a friend to sinners as well. He influenced many of them to follow Him.

The question we need to ask ourselves in our relationships is who is influencing whom? Are YOU leading them TO Christ? Or are THEY leading you AWAY from Christ? They don't have the convictions that you have. They live for themselves and don't feel guilty about it. "They have lost all feeling of shame." (v.19)

It's easy to become blind to this. It's easy to drift. It's like when you go to the ocean and you run out onto the beach, pick out a spot, put your blanket and your flip flops down and run out into the water. You're jumping waves, soaking up the sun, having a good ol' time when you look up and discover your blanket and flip flops aren't there. Or are they? Oh, there they are- back down the beach about 50 yards! How did that happen? While you were caught up having fun, you didn't realize you were drifting away. But, your stuff didn't move.....YOU did.

This can happen in your spiritual walk too. When you begin to hang out with people who don't have the same values as you do, you can begin to drift. Slowly at first, without even noticing until suddenly you realize, you are far away from God. But HE didn't move. YOU did.

In this passage we are warned, "Do not continue living like those who do not believe." (v. 14)

John McArthur said it well- "Sin is something you can't blame on anybody but yourself. You make repeated wrong choices, a choice makes a habit and a habit makes a personality and a personality makes a character and a character determines a destiny."

In other words- drifting is extremely DANGEROUS.

Lord help me to make good choices in friends and relationships. Help me to surround myself with people who encourage my Christian walk so that I may be a woman of good character.

The Storms are Coming

Ephesians 4:14 "We must stop acting like children. We must not let deceitful people trick us by their false teachings, which are like the winds that toss us around from place to place."

Stop acting like children.....

What do children act like? Well... in observing my own children, I have found that they live for the moment. They do what feels good without thinking about the consequences.

Children are not knowledgeable. They are young, they have to learn that fire is hot and playing in traffic is a bad idea.

My children will generally do what I tell them to do ....or their teachers tell them to do ..... or YOU tell them to do ....or BOB tells them to do...or....oh dear.... children are very influential.

Paul warns us in this verse not to "act like children"....not to be naive, not to act like we don't know right from wrong....not to "let deceitful people trick us by their false teachings". In other words....GROW UP! Read the Bible for yourself. Know what it says. Don't let someone else mislead you because you are not knowledgeable.

He says these false teachings are "like the winds that toss us around from place to place". Coincidentally, I am typing this as our county is under a tornado watch. This has brought more meaning to this verse for me. Strong winds are unpredictable. Strong winds destroy good buildings. Strong winds cause chaos, confusion, and sometimes death.

I am terrified of tornadoes. So I take precautions when they come. I grab my kids and get in our storm closet with our pillows, blankets, and flashlights and pray for safety. I listen to the radio for guidance and direction.

But are we taking precautions in our spiritual lives as well? Are we prepared for the strong winds that come our way and try to blow us off our paths? Those deceitful voices that try to confuse us and make us think that our lukewarm Christianity is good enough? Are we teaching our children where to go for safety (God)? Are we keeping our flashlights and radios nearby (God's Word)?

I hope so. Because the storms are coming.